All parents dream of an ideal child who will be good to attend extra-curricular activities, clubs and sections, while doing it all on their own, with pleasure and without complaints. But at the same time, these same parents forget about such an important part of our life as motivation. Indeed, thanks to this inner urge or external stimulator, even an adult can do anything, what can we say about the child.
Psychologists talk about motivation, as an incentive to do something. Moreover, this impulse can sit inside us, for example, our dreams, goals, desires and ambitions - these are all internal impulses that force us to work. External motivators can be material things or the praise and approval of family or friends.
Parents should know that external motivation to study at school should not be abused. This motivation is only suitable for a short period of time when the child needs to endure something to receive an award.
Much more important is the inner motivation of the child. On how much you teach him to motivate yourself independently, his future activity depends not only in school, but also in the university and even in his future career. Will he do everything "under the lash" or with pleasure and desire. "
In order to develop the inner motivation of the child, it is important to be on the same wavelength with him, to understand his interests and desires. Making the child understand math or physics is almost impossible if he doesn't like these subjects. The secret of inner motivation lies precisely in the interest in the subject.
Often parents whose children go to school, demanding ideal grades from a student, lead a little person astray. On the one hand, he has favorite subjects and sciences (which may not even be taught at school), and on the other hand, he does not want to upset his parents or suffer punishment due to bad grades. As a result of this dissonance, the focus on your favorite activities and objects in the child shifts. Laziness appears, more precisely, what parents consider to be laziness, but in reality it’s just fatigue and lack of motivation, which arose due to lack of interest.
Instead of scolding a child and blaming laziness, try to interest him. The Internet is now a lot of free educational resources for children with sections on all topics of the school program, and even wider. You can study topics and then put knowledge into practice together. So you will not only be able to interest the child, but also get closer, spending time together.
Trusting a student is one of the key moments of his inner motivation. Talk more and observe the child's behavior. If suddenly the favorite circle suddenly ceased to be liked, and the child no longer wants to go to him, it may be that it is not in him, but in the teacher or in the team.
If the problem is in the teacher, then you should not immediately run to shout at the poor teacher and blame him for all sins. Your behavior will determine the outcome of the situation. Ask the teacher about the problem or conflict. Perhaps nothing much happened. Consider the fact that the teacher does not always have the opportunity to devote time to each student. But instead of following these words, begin to find fault with the Russian education system, try to study the topics covered with the child at home, explaining incomprehensible moments.
If the teacher himself openly goes to the conflict, then the situation needs to be solved not with him, but with the higher management. Try to contact the head teachers, and if it does not help, then to the director. If this did not help, then think about changing the school and which school is better for your child to study or talk to the rest of the parents in the class, maybe they have the same problem. As a rule, collective complaints are paid more attention. Before the situation is resolved, explain to the child that there is no guilt in the current situation, and meeting with such people is just an experience that somehow teaches and does something better for us.
In a difficult situation, the parent must remember that by coercion and punishment it is impossible to get an interest from the child. Instead of screaming, sit down and talk, and instead of being forced to study, try explaining to the student why this is interesting. Remember that the motivation of the child to study or other activities is entirely up to you.